🗂️ From the Archives
Sometimes even a journalism major gets it wrong. Earlier this year, I wrote 23 stories and posted them as Substack Notes. Unfortunately, Notes don’t generate email notifications, so many of you probably never saw them.
Welcome to #FlashbackFriday, where I’ll dust one off from the archives and share it with the readers who missed it.
I was sitting at a restaurant, waiting on my food, when I noticed a drink station in the corner. This particular machine dispensed flavored moonshine cocktails.
That’s when I saw them.
Bees landing on the machine and sampling like they had just completed a moonshine factory tour.
This made me wonder, “Can bees get drunk?”
As we all do, I asked the internet, which confirmed that yes, pollinators can absolutely get intoxicated. In nature it happens from consuming fermented nectar or overripe fruit.
And just like humans, a buzzed bee (yes, intentional) loses all sense of navigation. They fly crooked, crash into things, and sometimes can’t even make it back to the hive. Basically, the bee version of “I’m fine, I don’t need a ride … wait, where’s my house?”
Even worse, when they do make it home, the guard bees can smell the alcohol. Think of them as tiny spouses waiting up at the door, asking the usual questions like “Where have you been?” and “Do you know what time it is?”
But here’s where our pollinator friends go full nature documentary.
Sometimes the colony rejects the drunk bees. Sometimes they even get … well … disappeared. (Which is honestly a little extreme. But I get it. Because we’ve all managed an intoxicated friend acting like an unsupervised toddler in a Costco.)
I always thought humans were the only species making questionable choices around alcoholic beverages.
Turns out bees are right there with us. Impulsive and willing to embarrass themselves for a tasty fruity beverage.
So, the next time you see a bee hovering over your adult drink, please be considerate.
Let the little guy have a droplet before you shoo him away.
He might just be trying to take the edge off after a long day.
